Soul Ties and your Marriage - Rev. Benita Francis
The mystery of marriage is another good example of a soul tie. Paul compares marriage with Christ and the Church (Eph.5:32). The great secret of marriage is that it is a blood covenant, binding together the two and making them one! God in His tremendous wisdom determined that blood must flow when husband and wife come together for the first time for that union to be established in the natural and in the spiritual world. Satan knows that and does his best to destroy that power and unity, making young girls throw away their virginity outside the sacred protection and commitment of marriage.
The blood covenant of marriage could also be called a soul tie. God intended for husband and wife to become one in every intent and area of life, closer than any other relationship, even the relationship to the parents that brought them into this world (Ge.2:23-24). And yet, even in this closest of all relationships Jesus MUST be number ONE if you want a happy marriage (Rev.2:4)!
If you are not a believer in Christ, your spirit is unable to produce God's character in you. You don't have God's heavenly agape love, and only your soul will dominate your behavior. Yet alas, even a believer has to decide minute by minute to walk in the spirit, not in the flesh (Ga.5:16). Even a believer must make a clear decision to produce the fruit of the spirit, not the works of the flesh (Ga.5:19-23).
Studies done in USA showed recently that marriage problems cost the state over eight billion dollar per year! How could that be? Well, it's just because of destructive soul ties! Workers get emotionally upset, can't sleep peacefully, can't eat well and consequently get sick. Soul ties are really an instrument the enemy of our souls uses for his destructive purposes. The saddest thing is that he does it under the disguise of love! If you ask couples, very often they will genuinely think they love their partner with all of their heart when the truth is that their relationship is totally governed by the soul. Like in any other area, a marriage lived in a soul tie relationship will bring more destruction than you could even imagine.
Let us study an example from the very beginning of humanity. Adam and Eve, the crown of God's creation, enjoyed a perfect life in the perfect surroundings of Eden, the garden of delight God had created just for them to relish. Everything was provided in an astounding abundance. They were the absolute rulers over every created thing. All of nature was at their orders, happily submitting to them. The garden produced everything they could ever need. There were no dangers, no adversi-ties, and no foes except the subtle serpent that found its way into Eve's awareness.
Eve made the fatal mistake of undertaking a conver-sation with satan, the master-deceiver disguised as a snake (Ge.3:1-5). As he always does, even to this very day, satan twisted and manipulated God's Word a tiny little bit just enough to make Eve question God's love and goodness. His eternal question, “Has God indeed said, 'You shall not…'?” keeps destroying marriages, families and homes all over the world at an ever increas-ing speed.
Now why do I connect this incident with our subject of soul ties? Well, let us see what happened after Eve decided to take the forbidden fruit:
6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate (Ge.3:6).
Take a close look! Her husband was with her but he didn't exercise his God-given authority to keep his wife in God's declared purpose and ways! Adam had heard God first-hand! He knew exactly what God had said, but he failed to bless his wife with clear guidance and leadership. Why? As we have seen in Eli's case, a soul tie will make you unable or unwilling to restrain the person you are bound to. Now, how could that soul tie come?
Before Eve ate of the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve were living in God's perfect creation order. When she obeyed satan and her soulish desire, however, the spirit domination was broken in her life and gave way to a domination of the soul. Adam must have felt a tremen-dous impact when suddenly all that soulish power was released toward him, offering him the fruit. He suc-cumbed to it, and the rest is sad history. Eve was deceived. Adam was not deceived but enticed. Here we see his soul tie with the wife at its destructive work. Can we infer Adam became so infatuated with Eve that he failed in putting godly limits for her desires?!?! See the terrible consequences:
7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings (Ge.3:7).
See the disaster! All they reaped was a horrible self-consciousness and sin-consciousness! They instanta-neously lost the glory and presence of God that had
covered them from their very creation, and they felt naked and ashamed. Even more than that: Contrary to what the devil tried to make them believe, they did die! They instantly died spiritually, and physical death would soon follow. Actually, only by this high treason Adam committed, death entered the world for the very first time. Yet this is not all! There are more horrible conse-quences:
8 And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden (Ge.3:8).
Their freedom in their relationship with God and their communication with Him was completely cut by this one act of disobedience! Although God Himself desired to keep the close fellowship, Adam and Eve now had to hide from Him. This hiding and covering up is one of the main evils in our world today, destroying innumerable lives all over the planet! Addictions, crimes, adulterous affairs, frauds, murders and all kinds of harmful actions are kept secret from God and also from the people that should be our most trusted partners parents, spouses and children. One soul tie incapacitated Adam from taking his rightful position as a protector and still destroys millions of homes worldwide!
Still, the harm from that one soul tie goes on and can be clearly seen in relationships all over the world! When confronted about his mistake, Adam began the world-famous 'game' of blame-shifting! One of the most interesting things about blame-shifting is that it is extremely contagious and can be 'played' instantly, without any previous teaching or practice! See how nicely Eve followed her beloved husband's example:
12 Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.”
13 And the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate” (Ge.3:12-13).
In my opinion, even the curse of husband's domina-tion over the wife came because of the soul tie. See Genesis 3:16:
16 To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception. In pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”
God's idea and creation order is for husband and wife to rule and reign together and exercise in perfect unity their authority over satan and his demons as well as over all of God's creation. As long as God is first in your life, married life will bring you all its blessings. Adam and Eve were created to enjoy all the kinds of God-created love under the dominion of their spirit. When the soul took over, however, soulish manipulation came into the world. I'm sure you can easily picture a woman wanting to get her way and nicely imposing her ideas on her husband. Since he was created to have dominion, the husband will instinctively resist such attempts and impose his rulership over the wife. The tragic thing is that both were created to rule and reign, and therefore both will try to impose their desires on the other person! Sadly, there is no way out of this as long as you allow the soul to dominate your marriage.
In my opinion, this one revelation can save any marriage. If you go all the way down to the root of any marriage problem, you will find the power issue. There is a deep-rooted fear of not being honored and respected in men, and a deep fear of not being cared for and loved in women. These fears make both spouses uncon-sciously to want to take control and dominion. That is a legitimate desire, but it is completely misled. People try to dominate each others, even in the name of 'biblical submission'. You must understand you were created to have dominion over the spiritual world and over God's creation, but not over human beings. Only then, you will not bind people to you by soul ties. Only then, you will be able to live true authority and true submission and have a happy, blessed marriage.
Actually, the great apostle Paul considered it better to remain single than to get entangled in soul ties. He warned that the married person would always be concerned about how to please their spouse and there-fore sidetracked from pleasing and serving God (1.Co.7:32-35). How daringly he contradicted God's Word from Eden, “It is not good that man should be alone” (Ge.2:18). That shows the severity of soul ties. How many women waste their lives in depression because their husband doesn't love them enough! How many men are frustrated because they can't fully please their wife! How many wasted tears and sleepless nights!
If you experience all these things in your marriage, I suggest you urgently confess and cut any soul tie to your mate and break all the horrible consequences that developed from it! Even search your heart for soul ties to any former relationship including fantasy relationships where you were only dreaming about a certain person and cut them. Your marriage must be free from hiding and bad communication, free to experience God's Presence and glory together, free from all blame-shifting and soulish manipulation it must radiate God's glory to the world around you!
Cut your soul ties even to your spouse, and experi-ence and display a glorious marriage from today onward, in Jesus' Name!
